If this seems like the vaguest of ironies, appearing as it does in a newspaper column, then I can only apologise. That is the least of what I have to apologise for in this context because, in my time, I have used those ghastly, mendacious, yet deliciously tempting words to someone whom I – and perhaps you – fervently wished would Talk To A Newspaper. I have said: “It would be great to hear your side of the story.”
What is meant by these words, and what anyone who says them means, is that it would be great for other people to hear your side of the story. But it will not be great for you. Oh no. The business of other people hearing your side of the story will not bring you any happiness, even though it truly seems like it might.